Welcome back to The Football Notebook, where I regret to inform you that the situation at Jason and Kylie Kelce’s imaginary NFL Sunday Ticket watch party has not improved.
If you read Friday’s Weekend Watchlist, you know I have become increasingly concerned about the logistics of the party depicted in the NFL Sunday Ticket commercial that has aired approximately 400 times during every football game this season. Kylie has invited what appears to be the population of a small town into their living room, all of whom want to watch different games, and she is understandably concerned about how they are going to accommodate everybody. Jason’s solution is that they have YouTube TV and NFL Sunday Ticket, which technically answers the question of whether they have access to every game while completely ignoring the much more pressing issue of how 20 people are supposed to watch eight different football games on one television.
I spent most of Friday explaining why this was inadequate. Then I watched football all weekend, saw the commercial another 400 times and somehow became even more bothered by it. At this point, I feel like I have to step in. Somebody needs to help these people, because Kylie is trying to host a football party while Jason appears to believe purchasing Sunday Ticket completed his responsibilities sometime in August.
Unfortunately, this is not an instant fix. We need more televisions. We need to establish viewing zones and determine which games get the big screen. Furniture might have to move. I need to know whether there is another room available, and eventually we are going to have to address the fact that multiview only gets us so far when somebody inevitably decides Jaguars-Patriots is the game they simply cannot live without. These are complicated logistical problems, and I refuse to rush into them simply because Jason Kelce did.
So I am going to work on it. By Friday, I hope to have a plan capable of saving the Kelce football party once and for all. In the meantime, however, I do have a temporary solution for all of those guests standing around the living room waiting for somebody to put their game on the television.
They can read The Football Notebook.
So, Jason, I’m working on the television problem. Kylie, I understand your concerns and will have something for you shortly. Everyone else, find somewhere comfortable to sit.
Let’s open the notebook.
