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The Football Notebook: Arch Manning’s Comeback, the Cowboys’ Reality Check and Manchester United’s VAR Nightmare
Welcome to The Football Notebook, the place where I spend approximately 48 consecutive hours watching football and then somehow have the audacity to complain that the weekend went by too fast. I’m beginning to think there might be a correlation there, but further research is needed.
I talked about Tottenham’s inability to score last week because three Premier League matches without a goal seemed notable enough to warrant discussion. I assumed that by the time we reconvened here, Spurs would’ve managed to accidentally bounce one in off somebody’s shin and I could move on with my life. Apparently I underestimated this team’s commitment to the bit.
Four matches.
Still nothing.
(Yes, Tottenham has scored six goals this season when one includes its two Carabao Cup matches against Charlton Athletic and Liverpool. This challenge is specifically for the Premier League, where Spurs has decided that putting the ball into the back of the net is an optional activity.)
Tottenham’s latest attempt ended in another scoreless draw, extending a drought that has moved beyond being a strange opening stretch and into something legitimately concerning. Roberto De Zerbi can talk about needing to unblock the attack, and there are portions of matches where you can see the ideas he’s trying to implement. The problem arrives when Spurs gets anywhere near the goal and everybody suddenly appears to forget why they’re there.
So I’m attempting to fix the problem myself. I will run one mile for every goal Tottenham scores in the Premier League this season.
This feels like an arrangement where I can’t lose. Either Spurs continues its current trajectory and I get to spend the rest of the season living a wonderfully sedentary lifestyle, or Tottenham suddenly becomes one of the most prolific teams in England and forces me into the best shape of my life. Perhaps this is what De Zerbi has been waiting for. Maybe Savío has spent the last two weeks thinking about my cardiovascular health and simply needed reassurance that he could proceed.
The challenge starts whenever Tottenham decides to participate. In the meantime, let’s track how many miles I’ve had to run so far.
Oh, yeah… it’s zero. We’ll keep a running tally throughout the year. Right now, it appears Spurs is taking its time in running this race alongside me.